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Kindness vs. Niceness
I spend a lotta time talking about kindness vs. niceness. There’s a massive difference between the two, and society seems bent on promoting “niceness”, when being kind is what’s beneficial all around. Being “nice” is performative. It’s a positive action based on how others perceive us, what others will think of us, and how it
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Why Do We Praise Men for Doing the Bare Minimum?
When my daughter was little, I used to love dressing her in cool clothes (that I typically bought on sale or used, because saving money was a huge concern), and putting her hair into cute little “ears” on the side of her head. Off we’d trot to the playground, and nobody would say a word
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Here’s What Men Should Be Doing for International Women’s Day
To be clear, this isn’t at all what men need to be doing on International Women’s Day, it’s what they need to be doing every damn day of the year. Because this one day of platitudes isn’t gonna cut it, really. You think we’re mad, in all senses of the word. You’re exhausted by our
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An Open Letter to My Birth Parents
Years ago, I found my birth family. One of my sisters and I have maintained a relationship, but my birth mother has chosen to have no contact with me. While that’s ok, and most of the time it doesn’t bother me, I am admittedly left feeling a little untethered sometimes. I don’t feel anger over
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You’re Still Here.
Bless me father, for I have sin– no, wait, that’s not right. Forgive me, readers, for I have not blogged. It has been five months since my last post. I can’t quite recall how I felt at the wind-down of 2019. I don’t typically make resolutions, but did I have high hopes for 2020? I
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Oh, So Tired
I am a self-proclaimed “silver-lining-finder”. It’s not something I shove down the throats of others, but a way I cope within myself, to stave off the hounds of anxiety and depression. Whenever I’ve gone through a challenging time, I’ve found peace in the small spots of joy — you know how much I hate toxic
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The Overwhelm
Today is Day 31 of self-isolation in my home, due to Covid-19. How are we coping? My answer to my therapist was, “As best we can,” and I think you’re all doing your best, too. We’re resilient, aren’t we? We went from complete freedom to… whatever fresh hell this is. But here we are, waking
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I Was Sideswiped By My Own Divorce
Ahh, sometimes I miss my smug married life. I’d been married for 11 years, to the person I thought was my very best friend. We had similar interests, we laughed together, worked as a team, and had grand plans for our mutual futures. I could never understand how people were sideswiped by divorce until I
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I Don’t Actually Forgive You
Here’s the thing, my friends: forgiveness is overrated. We are told constantly that in order to move beyond hurt, we must forgive. We’re taught that somehow magnanimity is the ultimate goal, that being “good” means forgiving people. But at the same time, the concept of healthy boundaries and expectations is shoved down our throats. This
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I Miss Me
So many times I’ve opened up this window and stared blankly at the blinking cursor. What do I even have to say anymore? What’s the point in blogging when, let’s be honest, I’m not making forward movement on any of my “real” writing goals? The pitch for Show Me Your Brave sits idly on my
