Some Stuff I Just Don’t Get Vol. 2

Remember that post I wrote about stuff I just don’t get? As it happens, there’s a lot more stuff I just don’t get.

huh
This round is all about baby gear. Honestly, why are there so many gizmos and gadgets and crap marketed to parents under the guise of being totally needed when they’re really just overpriced landfill fodder?

Here’s a sampling of Baby Gear I Just Don’t Get:

– wipes warmers
– chairs made to make babies sit who haven’t got the muscle control to actually sit yet (looking at you, Bumbo)
– hard-soled baby shoes (babies don’t walk… why put them in uncomfortable shoes?)
– play yards
– shopping cart covers (if there’s that big a concern over germs, rub hand sanitizer over the handle and be done with it)
– fancy nurseries (ain’t no baby nowhere who gives a crap what theme you choose or what furniture set you’ve “invested” in)
– real rock music turned into baby rock music (I admit it, we had a Coldplay CD like this… it sucked)
–  specially markets buckets to wash infants in (you know a regular bucket would do the same, right?)
– crazy baby bathing contraptions
– baby play mats
– any cream, lotion or potion that promises it’ll stop (or fix) stretchmarks (THEY DON’T WORK. Stretchmarks are genetic, you’ll either get ’em or you won’t, period.)
– blenders marketed as baby food blenders (any blender would do… a regular Bullet Blender is a Baby Bullet without the smiley face…)
– jarred baby foods (have you tasted that stuff? gross)
– diaper genies
– baby gum brushes (who brushes their baby’s gums?)
– video baby monitors
– moses baskets (they last what, a month if you’re lucky?)
– fancy change tables (I used ours maybe a dozen times? ANY surface is a changing surface… like, say, the floor)
– infant clothing that has to be ironed (ANGTFD!)
– fancy little cloth things that cover boys’ penises so they don’t hose you in the face with pee

How ’bout you? Anything you’d add?

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Alex

14 thoughts on “Some Stuff I Just Don’t Get Vol. 2

  1. It’s amazing how many “needs” *parents* have.

    The babies? They need food, love, shelter, human interaction. C’est tout!

    Heated wipes?!? Just ugh.

    Diaper Genies? Who the hell needs dirty diaper sausage links in their lives?!?

    IRONED!?!? Oh hell no!

    I can’t add anything at the moment because you pretty much live in my brain. So..

  2. Play yards can be convenient as portable sleeping arrangements while travelling with a baby… that’s about the only use I see. (Other than my friend who put the baby in one so his big sister couldn’t hug him to death..). I did buy a friend a moses basket for her shower (used but I made the cushion and bedding). She got a couple of months of use and it’s been passed around and served 7 babies so far but yeah it’s pretty short lived. Also an empty dresser drawer pulled out can do the same thing.

      1. Pretty much the only one here that is important to us (and WAY USED) was the play yard (playpen?) because that’s what my second slept in for his whole first year of life while he slept in our room. And we always used it while travelling. Am planning to put baby 3 in the playpen too to sleep in our room at first before moving to the nursery (which won’t be decorated). Though, I’m considering needing a new one because seriously – ours is pretty used.

      2. To be fair, we coslept so didn’t really use any of the other options, and Story was such a clinger that the play pen was useless for us. So I didn’t even keep it around for Mason.

  3. I liked the Rockabye cds. If you both with lullabies or white noise that was a cool option. I spent many many long nights rocking babies listening to those tunes; which would have been too loud to play normally.

    I used my change table forever. It’s a dresser too though, so it was hanging around anyway.

    I bought a diaper genie when in had my last baby and was still using it up until a month ago. When you have two in diapers….I don’t know. Came in handy. I had three kids without one though and that was fine.

    I also really liked the Daphne bath seat, but otherwise I agree with your list. I find there’s a lot that I don’t “get” in hindsight. Or, if it’s quite obviously a very expensive bucket. 😉

  4. This baby stuff I get:

    wipes warmers – both my boys HATED cold wipes on their bums. When I used the wipes warmer, the never cried again!

    play yards – it keeps my baby entertained and safe so I like it.

    shopping cart covers (if there’s that big a concern over germs, rub hand sanitizer over the handle and be done with it) – not only does it help minimize the germs my baby can catch, it gives him something to play with while I grocery shop

    fancy nurseries (ain’t no baby nowhere who gives a crap what theme you choose or what furniture set you’ve “invested” in) – I like to have a pretty nursery for both of my boys.

    real rock music turned into baby rock music (I admit it, we had a Coldplay CD like this… it sucked) – I enjoy the Rockabye Baby – Lullaby Renditions of rock music! It’s cool.

    crazy baby bathing contraptions – I had a newborn bath mat. Used it a lot. This kept my baby safe while bathing him.

    baby play mats – My boys loved/love their play mat

    diaper genies – LOVE my Diaper Genie! Kept my nursery smelling good! Still using it!

    baby gum brushes (who brushes their baby’s gums?) – I DO!!! My son LOVES it! He watches me brush his brothers teeth and then I brush his.

    video baby monitors – I LOVE my video monitor!!! This way I can check up on him and not chance waking him up by looking in on him.

    fancy change tables (I used ours maybe a dozen times? ANY surface is a changing surface… like, say, the floor) – My change table turns into a bookshelf when I’m done with it so it served two purposes.

  5. Play yard was ESSENTIAL for us – travelling to Grandma’s and also to keep the dog and the kid separated (two words: poo eater). ‘Nuff said 😉

  6. I loved the video baby monitor because The Kid has been a “loud sleeper” since birth. Keeping an eye on him was easier than with the sound-only monitors. Without the view, we’d end up opening his door and waking him up half the time. Bonus: watching him climb in and out of his crib was a wake up call itself. Time for a “real bed”!

    The diaper genie kept our friends’ diaper-eating dogs out of our garbage bin during visits, but it wasn’t something I’d buy if that wasn’t a problem.

    My husband loved the changing table because he has back problems that make bending and crouching a challenge. I liked having supplies in one place in the house rather than spread all over our two stories.

    I can’t understand most baby items though either and if these hadn’t been given to us and used so well, I’d probably wonder too!

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