If you’ve ever done any of the things on this list, spare us your International Women’s Day post.

No one needs to hear you pretend to “celebrate women” when you’ve spent the other 364 days making their lives harder. You don’t get to play the ally while underpaying, undermining, dismissing, or outright disrespecting the women around you. You don’t get to call them “strong” while making them carry the weight of your incompetence, entitlement, or fragile ego. You don’t get to feel like a hero for posting about how incredible women are one day a year.

Before you post that empty tribute about the amazing women in your life, take a hard look at the list below. If any of it sounds familiar, do us all a favour—log off and start actually giving a shit.

If you’ve ever…

• Paid women less than their male counterparts

• Think your paycheque offsets all the emotional and domestic labour your wife does

• Promoted mediocre men over qualified women

• Leveraged weaponized incompetence to get out of domestic jobs

• Rolled your eyes when women talked about mental load

• Laughed at rape jokes or brushed it off as “locker room humour”

• Complained about a woman being “a nag”

• Defended abusers or questioned whether victims were “making it up”

• Expected your female coworkers to clean up after you

• Talked over women in meetings

• Expected a woman to be your maid, cook, therapist, and secretary

• Thought feminism was “too aggressive”

• Whined about “cancel culture” when a man faced consequences for abusing women

• Used “She’s SO emotional” as an excuse to ignore women’s concerns

• Only uplift women when they’re smiling, agreeable, and useful to you

• Insisted sexism isn’t THAT bad

• Called dads who parent “hands-on” but called moms who expect equality “demanding”

• Thought buying flowers once a year cancels out a lifetime of doing the bare minimum

• Slid into a woman’s DMs on LinkedIn with anything other than a professional dialogue

• Asked a woman at work to “soften” her feedback, but never had that energy for men

• Expected your wife to manage YOUR family’s events, gifts, and emotional baggage

• Called a woman “difficult” for setting boundaries but admired a man for “knowing what he wants”

• Expected a woman to take notes in a meeting when it wasn’t her job

• Called a woman “bossy” for the same leadership traits you praise in men

• Thought giving your wife “a break” meant watching your own kids for an hour

• Thought being “nice” to women entitled you to sex

• Used “biology” as an excuse to justify sexism

• Scoffed at the idea of paternity leave while calling yourself a “family man”

• Interrupted women to re-explain their own ideas back to them

• Weaponized “tradition” to justify outdated gender roles but cherry-picked which ones benefit you

• Asked a woman in an interview if she plans to have kids

• Claimed a woman was “playing the victim” instead of acknowledging her experience

• Called any of your previous partners “crazy”

• Thought a woman rejecting you was a personal attack instead of… just not being interested

• Believed your daughter’s safety is important, but never taught your son about consent

• Praised a woman’s beauty and what she does for you more than her intelligence, ambition, or achievements

• Said “I’d never hit a woman” like that makes you a hero instead of just not a violent asshole

• Called stay-at-home moms “lazy”

• Thought “supporting women” meant telling them they’re pretty

• Think women should have to justify where child support is spent

• Think women who get spousal support are “gold diggers”

• Complimented a woman’s looks in a professional setting instead of her work

• Made unsolicited comments about a woman’s body, weight, or appearance—then got offended when she wasn’t flattered

• Assumed a woman changes her hair or makeup for male attention

• Criticized how a woman dresses, whether it’s “too revealing” or “too modest,” like her body is yours to judge

• Gushed about “real women’s bodies” while shaming women who don’t fit your ideal

• Gave women useless perks like cupcakes and flowers instead of equal pay and promotions

• Voted for any politician who attacks women’s rights

• Thought less of a woman who couldn’t cook but never questioned a man who couldn’t do anything domestic

• Expected your partner to stay fit, styled, and youthful while you let yourself marinate in mediocrity

• Ignored harassment complaints or brushed them off as misunderstandings

• Acted like your paycheque makes you the boss while your wife runs every other aspect of life

• Prioritized your career over your wife’s ambitions

• Paid for fancy leadership retreats but wouldn’t fund a decent parental leave policy

• Thought being a “good father” just meant paying bills

• Expected women to earn respect while men just get it

• Called a woman’s passion dramatic but called a man’s outbursts leadership

• Mansplained feminism to an actual woman

• Thought sending a “Happy IWD” text made up for a year of being useless

• Used feminist as an insult

• Took credit for supporting women because your wife works

• Called remote work a perk but refused to acknowledge how much easier it makes balancing work and caregiving

• Judged a woman for sleeping with “too many” men but never questioned your own body count

• Said “I support women” but couldn’t name a single female author, director, or leader you admire

• Had to ask what your wife wanted as a gift instead of paying attention

• Scoffed at women’s safety concerns but lose your mind when your own daughter is affected

• Think your daughter is your possession

• Had a company Women’s Leadership Panel  or an Empowering Professional Women roundtable with zero women involved

• Blamed women for “choosing the wrong men” instead of holding men accountable for being the wrong men

• Expected a woman to be chill about blatant disrespect

• Show disrespect to single mothers, but never questioned absent dads

• Promoted a “commitment to diversity” while your leadership team is a boys’ club

• Told a woman to “smile more” while contributing nothing to her happiness

• Have uttered the phrase “not all men” when women talk about their struggles

• Used International Women’s Day as a PR stunt while your workplace still has a gender pay gap

…the best way to celebrate International Women’s Day is to change your behaviour, not your social media status.