“Haters gonna hate”
The glorious thing about the internet is that no matter the problem (ingrown hairs? cranky toddler? whatthef*&#isthatlump? best sushi in Toronto? do these jeans my my ass look like a mom’s?), I can ask The Internet and all answers can be found. Dr. Google diagnoses my medical problems (they’re always terminal), Twitter advises me on my relationships (I’m always right) and my message groups enable my shopping addiction (because I actually do need thirty-two t-shirts). It’s a wonderful world, this innernet is.
There are people ready to jump to my side to support me without really knowing the other side of the story, no matter what. Sure, there are trolls, too, but who listens to them anyhow? We all know that trolls aren’t real people. They’re just lonely basement dwellers with nothing better to do than wander around from site to site searching for people to insult by way of incoherent ramblings surely not based in reality. And if they are real people? Well, they don’t understand us, they can’t see the truth, they’re jealous/uninformed/bitter/assholes. Positive comments are always the most accurate. Negative feedback is always wrong.
I mean… haters gonna hate. Right?
If I tweet about a conflict with a friend, you’ll all tell me I’m in the right, right? If I tell you I’ve made a stupid parenting decision, you’ll tell me that’s not true, that I’m a great mom. If I say I’m fat, you’ll tell me I’m not. I’m beautiful, I’m smart, I’m funny, I’m a great friend, and this is my happy place. And if anyone begs to differ, they’re wrong, they’re trolls, they’re bullies and I. Am. RIGHT.
The problem with discounting anything (and often everything) negative is that sometimes, on occasion, maybe we’re really not right. Sometimes we need that kick in the rear, or that reality check. Sometimes tough love is required (and no, criticism isn’t the same as bullying, people). Sometimes when your ethics are scrutinized, it’s for damn good reason and instead of spouting off that bullshit phrase, “Haters gonna hate!“, you need to take a step back and examine your actions. Sometimes we all need a little reality up in this joint.
We’re not always right. We’re not always awesome. Our actions are not always with the best intentions. Sometimes we do stupid stuff. Often we’re insensitive, greedy, self-centred, lazy shits. We’re humans, right? The internet doesn’t exist in some vacuum, we are the world, and all that. So we can’t always be right. Sure, there are some people who troll about looking for pots to stir, but discounting every single negative comment as hatred is hilariously narcissistic.
This cocoon we form around ourselves by exercising our right to block, unfollow, ignore, lay blame… it doesn’t erase the truth. “Haters gonna hate” is the new head-in-the-sand avoidance technique. And we can all still see you(‘re an ass).