>I probably shouldn’t write things like this when I’m more than a little emotional, but you know how it is when the moment strikes. A new year has never been much inspiration to me. It’s not that I’m not anxious for the new beginnings, the wiped-clean slate, the possibilities; it’s that I’ve always tried to keep these things as options throughout my year. I try hard to challenge myself, to change, to learn and grow always, so when the clock strikes midnight and we bid adieu to the last twelve months, I don’t usually feel too much pressure. But this year feels a little different to me because of the timing of some huge life decisions my husband and I made. Good timing, fate.

For almost five years, I buckled down and grew a business from dust to dreams and this year I put that dream aside to move on with new ones. I feel equal parts scared, sad, relieved, rejuvenated and excited about the prospects this opens for me. I still have one company that I very much adore, and I feel lucky to have it to fall back on. I’m also thankful that it’s something I’m able to do with more flexibility so I can spend more time with my kids. Do you have any idea how happy that makes me? It brings me to tears.

I’m refocussing my life to embrace the moments as they come, to spend more time with my kids, husband and close friends, and to put more goodness out into the world than I take. This is the year I help others reach their potential, that I support goals and reach for my own dreams, too. I want people to know that success isn’t always about money. That yes, you need money to survive, but that there are ways to make that happen without selling your soul to do it.

Remember when I said I want to write? To be published? That’s going to happen, too. I’ll write for a magazine and be paid for it this year. I promised myself. I’ll finally be able to say I’ve done what I have always wanted to do.

Remember when I said I wanted to do more good? I’m going to give of my time and myself to worthy causes and support the people whose work I admire and respect. This will include a focus on teaching others how to grow their businesses. I’m going to help them get the confidence to reach their dreams the way I did mine.

I’m going to sit down and create pretty things like I love to do. I’m going to learn to use that fancy sewing machine and make my children wear ridiculously cute mama-made creations. I’m going to decorate my home with whimsy and love that I create.

I’m going to take better care of myself. I’m going to face my fears and get those tests done, finally. I’m going to do whatever it takes to get this body back to health and make a commitment to being as healthy as I can for myself and my family.

We’re going to move homes. We love our house, but have outgrown it. I’ve always been afraid to commit to moving; I’m lazy. But this year I’ll turn this home into a gem, and find our dream home somewhere with giant trees and bunnies hopping through the backyard.

I’m going to surround myself with the people who add positive light to my life. Because, man, there are enough depressing things happening in our world without the petty drama we cling to so often.

I’m going to live life with intention and appreciation.

How ’bout you?

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5 thoughts on “Ponderances

  1. >My life has changed so much since I made the choice to fill it with people how add positive light! Can't wait to see your whimsical creations and follow your moves towards moving (that's on my list of wishes too!).

  2. >Bravo Alex! I applaud you plan to grab 2012 by the scruff of the neck and give it a good solid noogy. As for me and my plans for this year…I plan to stay on this side of the grass because I have seen the other side and there are fewer people like you there. Yes, I want to grow my business but most important for me is to gain a better understanding of who I am as a person, as a husband and as a father. I've got a pretty good idea of who I am as an artist so let's hope he doesn't need too much work. I've got enough on my plate. 🙂

  3. >You are fantastic. I have a feeling this is going to be the Year Of Alex! Something like the Summer of George but way better.

  4. >Thanks for the inspiration to keep doing what I'm doing, with hopes to grow and help others along the way!

  5. >Congrats on your big decision. My Baby Boy still loves his Clippo that we won from one of your Twitter parties. 🙂 Hope you are well.

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