My story is no longer my own

When there was no internet, my story was short: I was adopted as an infant and I am my parents’ daughter. Period.

When information was made available to us, and files made mine, my story grew longer: I have siblings and half-siblings. Having grown up as an only child, this made my heart swell with possibility. I pondered the ripples this search would have on my life: How would my parents handle this? How would I feel if I unraveled something unsavoury? I wrote a letter unsent. I finally opened up to my parents and they encouraged my journey, cautiously protecting my heart in case things didn’t work out the way I had painted them in my head. But really, possibilities were vague and felt more like fiction than a reality I could hope for.

And then: A name, an email, information. A new path, new prospects, regained hope.

For ten years I have blogged about my most personal thoughts, feelings, experiences and opinions and I suddenly feel so mute. Suddenly this is all so real.

I have a sister.

I tried to fortify myself and be realistic. I told myself that blood does not a sister make. My family is my family, nurture is greater than nature, and life doesn’t change just because someone shares some genetic code.

But I have a sister.

I sat across from her and drank up her stories, stared into familiar eyes. I fell in love with all the potential this relationship has, and cannot absorb enough of her. I have stories, genetics, history beyond my own.

I have a sister.

Suddenly this story is not my own, not mine alone to share.

Finding birth relatives means my adoption story is no longer just my own.

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46 thoughts on “My story is no longer my own

  1. You gave me chills. It’s been so wonderful to follow along with your tweets and Facebook updates. And the PICTURE OF THE TWO OF YOU Amazing!!

    I’m so happy for you, Alex.

    1. Thanks, Sharon. It means more than I can even express that I have so many people like you behind me. I’m a lucky girl. πŸ™‚

  2. Wow, that’s incredible! I’m so happy for you. Being able to connect with your sister is amazing…and will allow you to connect dots that you never knew were there. I loved reading your post. πŸ™‚

  3. I’m like Sharon, I totally got the chills, loved reading this story and now have to go check twitter to see this picture people are talking about!

  4. This has been so incredible to watch unfoldβ€”and you have a sister! I seriously could not be happier for you right now. Smiling so big.

  5. This is all so fabulous. And I love that shot of the two of you. It exudes happiness and possibility. So happy for you. What a journey!

  6. Amazing story!! I have a friend who has reconnected with her biological family too also being raised as an only child!
    A great story and so happy that you are able to have questions answered!

  7. I LOVE your story. How awesome for both you and your sister. Enjoy the journey. I’m sure the story can only get better. Happy 2013, Alex!

  8. Honestly, Alex, for you to include us on this very personal journey of self-discovery is an honour and a privilege. xo

  9. I am so thrilled beyond words for you my friend. I remember the struggles that you’ve been through, the questions, the wondering. It makes my heart happy that you have finally been able to meet someone that you’ve wondered about for so long. I hope that this is the start of a happy and beautiful relationship for you both.

  10. This is fabulous! While her situation is quite a bit different, my 16-year-old daughter has a half brother, a stepsister and a stepbrother she hasn’t met yet, along with an aunt, two cousins and a set of grandparents.

    If her biodad ever pulls his head out of his own butt, maybe she’ll get to meet them before they’re all adults. If not, thank goodness for Facebook – she’ll be able to take steps on her own to do so someday.

    1. Things have changed so much, eh? I’m glad she has put her pieces together, too. And I’m even happier she’s such a mature kid and knows how great a mom she has, without needing the biological relations.

  11. I am so happy for you. This post made me tear up – I am so very happy for you. Very heartfelt post. Thanks for sharing. xoxo

  12. more! more! wow. It’s just amazing, and I hope it does work out for you. I have a friend that went on a very similar journey a few years ago. It was all-consuming and wonderful and amazing. Things have settled now; everything is fine. But you’re right: your parents are your parents and life will go on. I hope these new people in your life bring goodness. Thank you for sharing. It is wonderful to read about. Good Luck xo

    1. Thanks, Tricia. I really (really, really) appreciate hearing the success stories out there, because, let’s face it: this kind of thing can go so sour. So far, so good though.

  13. So amazing. So full of possibility. Sisters are more than genetics, and from the picture it looks like you have a personal connection as well. Just an amazing story.

    1. I immediately felt a connection with her, you know? And even though I saw her again yesterday, I can’t wait to hang out again. πŸ™‚

  14. Amazing!! I have one sister and we are partners in crime. She is my safe place to go. I am so happy for you, Alex! xo

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