Make it so

Make it so
Oh, Jean-Luc, you handsome devil.

I vowed to say, “No” more often this year. It didn’t turn out as I’d expected since I took on a few too many volunteer positions, and I’ve since backed out on many of those. I give in far too often and end up giving too much of my time and myself to others. That’s not a humble brag, it’s just a fact. I’m too generous with pretty much everything I’ve got, to the detriment of my health. So for the second half of 2012 (oh my god, seriously? where is the year going?), I’m clawing back time for myself.

In order to spend more time with my kids, I closed my company. People thought I was nuts for closing down a successful company, and I admit I wondered if they were right. I debated taking one of the many offers we had to sell it, but in the end I decided I had worked too hard to build that amazing company and one day I may want to go back to it.

I promised myself I’d spend more quality time with my family, and so far, I have. When the kids want to play, I play. I don’t stare at my iPhone and peer over at them, I actually play. It feels good. Like a luxury I’ve been missing out on.

I said we’d fix up this house and move but in the process of fixing up our home, I realized I love it here and so does my family. We are so, so lucky to have chosen this place, as casually as we did seven years ago. Sure, it’s small. Yup, it’s not modern and shiny and spacious. But it is home for us, and our big maple tree reminds me of the roots we’ve put down here. Giving love to this home has rejuvenated all of us, and we’re happy to stay here awhile longer.

The biggest goal I set for myself was that I’d be published this year. For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be A Writer. Of what? I don’t really know. I’ve had terrible poetry published, and written a few articles here and there, but this is the year of print for me, and I’m excited to say it’s actually going to come true next month. Having someone accept something I’ve written and actually pay me for it? Well, that was euphoric. Many of you are old hat at that, but for me it’s totally new and I’m happy I put myself out there and made that happen.

My writing has always been somewhat private. Though I started a blog over on Xanga ten years ago, I never really “went public” with it. I hid behind my screen name and didn’t tell family about it, and certainly none of my “real life” friends. I was embarrassed of my writing, and I guess I still am. Hundreds of people followed that blog, but I never really felt proud of who I was there. This is my space, these are my words, and I’m learning to own them all.
I was also absolutely amazed when I found out that my post entitled My Son’s Wings was chosen and I’m one of BlogHer’s Voices of the Year for 2012. (Thank god I’m not a reader… I don’t think I’d survive that kind of word-ownership, ha!) That someone felt my words deserve a place among such amazing bloggers and writers is a huge compliment to me. I feel honoured indeed.

Now I’m wondering what I should will into existence over the next six months of this year.

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5 thoughts on “Make it so

  1. >Oh Alex, you ARE a writer! And a very good one. I so admire what you have done this year and you continue to be a source of inspiration for me. And that post about M – brilliant and beautiful and well-deserving of the honour from Blogher!

  2. >I LOVE your blog, your writing style, your wit, humour and heart. You go girl and congrats!!

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