How to Send Your Kid to Kindergarten

1. Get them hyped up weeks in advance.
2. Let them choose a First Day of School outfit (mine chose from his existing wardrobe) to make it feel special.
3. Let them help pack their very first school lunch ever.
4. Walk them to school, hand-in-hand.
5. Watch them fall to pieces when the teacher comes to let the new kids into the classroom.
6. Carry them into their classroom screaming and crying till they gag, saying they don’t want you to leave, they’re scared.
7. Gently talk to them for ten minutes, explaining that this is a safe, fun place for them.
8. Peel them off your body and slowly leave the classroom, listening to your child screaming and sobbing.
9. Put sunglasses on and walk home with head hung low.
10. Cry and cry and cry and cry until your eyes are red and your face is blotchy, but know that this is a good thing, and that tomorrow will be better.

Then get up the next day and get your kid ready for school. Put sprinkles on their Cheerios because everything’s better with star-shaped sprinkles. Pack a lunch with a hidden treat in it, make poop jokes and hope for the best. Giggle the morning away until it’s time for school, then walk them to class and watch as they let go of your hand and smile, join their new friends and sing a song together.

Walk home with different tears rolling down your cheeks knowing that indeed, today was better.


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3 thoughts on “How to Send Your Kid to Kindergarten

  1. I swear…I truly swear…at 45 yrs old, I STILL remember my first day of kindergarten and I reacted exactly like that in the classroom. Don’t know what my mother did on the way home, but the poor teacher had to hold me in her arms for a while as the other children stared. That was back in the day before we young pups had regular play dates and all that so I had rarely EVER been away from my mother nor did we go out much. It’s a very different world today, no?

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