Death, birthdays and coffee

Our vet’s office called me the other day to let me know the paw print we ordered has arrived. I haven’t been able to bring myself to go pick it up yet, because I guess somehow that means she really is gone. In August, our cat was diagnosed with kitty pink eye (that’s the technical term, obviously) but after two courses of antibiotics it was clear that was a misdiagnosis.

we called her our "sunshine kitty"

As it turned out, Smokey had a rapidly-growing tumour in the bone above her eye and within a month, it had swollen to the point of her losing vision and had started to bleed. Β The vet advised that any potential treatment would be so invasive and painful that it wasn’t worth it for Smokey’s quality of life. We had to make the decision to have her euthanized in the end, and last Friday was her final day with us. To say I’m heartbroken is an understatement; I loved her so much. Knowing that she was in pain is terrible, yes, but making the decision to end her life was even worse. I’ve had three cats put down now, and my heart is never fully healed from those memories. For 13 years, she was my little companion, having been with me almost as long as I’ve known my husband. But it was the right decision, to give her relief from her pain. I guess I’ll go pick up that paw print today.

Following right behind the sadness was great happiness: Story turned six and had her birthday party on Saturday. (This means I really need to update her blog for her, oops.) We hired Creature Quest to come, and it was such a great day for the kids. (And, ok, for me, too. . . I totally enjoyed holding the animals.) I had fun decorating for her party and have some party ideas to share on the blog another day. I can’t even believe our little girl is six already. I can’t even put into words how proud I feel of her. She’s just such an incredible little person; so full of empathy, wisdom and love. She was so excited to hold that little turtle, and looked up at me with her soft eyes and tiny smile. . . oh, daughter, I love you so.

And not only is she all those things, she’s also so funny. So quirky and strange and totally hilarious. Check out the funny iMessages she sends me:

"I mustache you a question but I'm shaving it for later" "We are having turnips. Why did you not turn up?"

Completely awesome. She and Mason are just so different, but so incredibly amazing in their own ways. And so devoted to one another, it’s just adorable.
There is nothing quite like the love between these two. It’s the only thing in my life that has ever made me wish I had a sibling. And sure, they fight, but at the end of the day they snuggle up and sleep back-to-back and we wake in the mornings to find them holding hands.


This has been such a strange few months around our house. Ryan’s work is extremely busy, and he will be in London, England again next week. We’ve still been considering a move to a new (to us) house, and we’re getting stuff done around the house, which is completely new for us. We’re fairly lazy home owners and hadn’t really done much to this place since moving in seven years ago.

I’ve had time to myself lately thanks to full-day grade one for Story, and a couple hours of nursery school every morning for Mason. It’s almost surreal, having hot coffee and time to flip through a magazine. I even had time to leisurely shop for new bedding for our room. I know, crazy. I’ve been reading, learning how to use my embroidery sewing machine, and making official plans to re-open ClippoΒ (in a totally new way!) in the early months of 2013.

And that all leads me to this little find, and a fun giveaway.

I came across this mug at Winner’s recently:

"I have a life. . . I just prefer it online"

I’ve got two to give away and all you need to do to enter is leave a comment telling me your favourite thing about living an online life. I’ll draw two random winners from all entries on Sunday (Sept. 23) at about noon (EST).

I want to thank all of you who have been so supportive of me recently. It means the world to have people to chat with online when it feels awkward in real life. Though I realize the loss of our kitty isn’t huge in the grand scheme, it just felt like a second kick in the gut after having a rough time in August. Sometimes any loss brings up an old loss, and it just takes a little while to get back on the happy horse, y’know? So thank you. You’re why I like my online life. xo

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25 thoughts on “Death, birthdays and coffee

  1. Amazing isn’t it, how losing a pet (someone who has never spoken a single word to you and who you’ve never had a conversation with) can be so much a part of your world and that you feel such a void when they’re gone. So loyal, loving and always there when you need some comfort – until they’re not. It is so, so difficult to lose them.

    But in contrast, your world is also filled with so much life in those two beautiful little beings of yours. What joy they bring to you and to each other. I see the genuine love my two have for each other and I realize how special giving life to the second was for the first and how lucky I am to be able to witness and nurture that bond.

    Life online…can you imagine what our lives would be like without this sense of connection? What would we be doing with our time? How less rich our lives would be without the interaction and sharing of knowledge, feelings, experiences with all these people – that we’d never have met without the proximity factor that the internet eliminates. I know my life would be far different, not as fruitful and definitely less interesting.

  2. Sorry again about your cat. It’s so tough.

    I love online life because it can entertain through mid-night nursing sessions that last WAY too long. None of my friends would appreciate a phone call at 3am, and my nursling wouldn’t appreciate the chatter.

  3. So much has happened recently, joy and pain… life is hard! Look forward to seeing what’s in store for Clippo!

    I may have a dual personality…I love being around people but also cherish my time alone. Living online is fabulous because I can connect with people, build amazing friendships from the comfort of my own home πŸ™‚

  4. I have been living life online since the late 90s (96-97ish). I have met so many wonderful and support people over the years. I am so grateful for Twitter for bringing more of these people into my life. People who do not communicate online just do not understand how strong the bonds can become. I love my online friends!

    Such a cute mug Alex!

    1. I feel the same way! I blogged for a long time before joining Twitter, and I just love all the connections I’ve made, the friendships, the support. From people like you. xo

  5. I’m excited to see what new things are in store for Clippo!

    At first, living online met that I didn’t actually have to go out to meet people and it seemed so much easier talking online than in person. However, I never expected what it became…a place where there was people that actually cared what happened in your life, a place where you could talk about anything and generally received some encouragement, suggestions, or whatever else you were seeking. I’ve met some amazing people online…some amazing people that I am glad I call my friends. πŸ™‚

  6. I’m a military brat. I love meeting new people, forging new ties, the excitement of getting to know new people. My online life lets me do that, constantly. And, let’s face it, people are fascinating, and you can read details about peoples lives online that you might NEVER think to ask if you were to see them in person.

    1. I wish I was as outgoing as you, Pam! I find it difficult in person, which is why I love it online. So much easier for me here. πŸ™‚

  7. So sorry about sunshine kitty..

    Life online.. I too have been online since the mid-90s, and can’t imagine the people who WOULDN”T be in my life if I hadn’t been an IRC/board/FB/twitter addict πŸ˜› Too many to count, that’s for sure. Including my husband, and a number of wonderful friends across the world. Hell, I don’t even know where i’d be living (probably Winnipeg still), as I mainly moved here because of hubs, who I’d met on IRC.So what do i like about living life online? the chance to get to know so many people who you wouldn’t otherwise get to meet. Like you <3

  8. I’m so sorry to hear about Smokey. There is nothing easy about making that decision and saying goodbye.

  9. My favourite part about living an online life is that I can be super social without worrying that I haven’t showered in two days or that my ear smells like spit up.

    I’m so sorry about the cat. I have been following the saga unfold on Twitter and my heart has broken for your entire family. It is one of those things though that I am just not sure what the best thing to say is though, so I will say nothing else.

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