I admit that just reading this story gives me knots in my stomach. The idea of sharing this info? Well, I’m not sure I’m able to do that, despite being comfortable in my skin. I’ll rock a bikini, but when it comes to the nitty gritty of weight, I admit I like keeping mine a secret. But why? Why does this stuff seem so. . . heavy? It’s not about weight, it’s about being healthy. And nothing makes me happier than seeing people choose to be healthier. I’m really proud of my friend Leanne for shouting her progress from the rooftops.
You’re a rockstar, Leanne. Go, you! *waves pom poms wildly*
“Oh and that section there is… well, what do I care? That’s my weight.”
The words came out of my mouth and I barely recognized them. Who was this person who now knew how much I weighed? And who was this person DIVULGING her weight to a total stranger? Why, it was ME not giving all the fucks! It was me not caring that a sweet, good looking guy of about 25 now knew my most secret of numbers.
Last Friday the bank teller was asking me 101 questions about my Fitbit, so being the good soldier that I am, I opened the dashboard on my phone and started showing him all the measurements: how many steps I had walked, how many kilometres, how many calories I had burned… and oh yeah, how much I weighed.
238.6, if anyone cares. That’s 13.8 pounds less than I weighed at the start of April.
When I told my mom what had happened her response was “Wow. That was brave.” Perhaps. Maybe crazy is a word some would use? “You wouldn’t catch me dead doing that!” But why the hell not? What are we afraid of? Judgement? 238.6 might sound like a hell of a large number to many, but then again so would 10,000 steps a day.
On that note, let’s really whip it out and measure. I have now walked 10,000 steps a day for 18 straight days. Fitbit tells me that in the last month I’ve walked 238 kilometres. That’s roughly the equivalent of walking from Toronto to Huntsville. HUNTSVILLE. That’s right, Bracebridge. I blew right by you.
So what if you know how much I weigh? You also now know that I am dedicated to moving and to feeling better… that I’m dedicated to weighing less so that I can do more with my niece and nephew. You know that, and maybe now rather than giving a shit about my weight you’re thinking “Damn, that chick is putting in an effort!” It’s taken a long time for me not to fixate on the number.
There may still be days when I will get hung up on it, but I’ve come a very long way — some might even say 238 kilometres.
The #ShowMeYourBrave Project asks people, “What’s the bravest, scariest, or most intimidating thing you’ve ever done?”. The idea of the project is to share stories of everyday bravery and human resilience to bring us closer together. In sharing, we not only find our voices, but we find support, allies, and others who have faced similar challenges. If you would like to submit your story, we would love to feature your bravery here.